child Archives - FamilyTLC

Oppositional Defiant Disorder in Children – What to Look For

September 26, 2016 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC anger child Parenting

Oppositional Defiant Disorder in Children Has anyone ever said to you “He’s just being a kid,” or “She will grow out of it, don’t worry about it”? In some cases, this can be true. Sometimes, kids are just being kids and sometimes they will grow out of it.

However, sometimes there is something else going on and further intervention may be required. Oppositional defiant disorder often goes undiagnosed because the symptoms are similar to those of a strong-willed child or those exhibited by children who are diagnosed with ADHD.

Other parents are simply told their child’s symptoms are a natural part of development. [Read more…]

Keep Your Sex Life Alive Post-Kids

August 26, 2016 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC child

Sex is more than just a physical act, it is a mental, emotional and for some a spiritual bond as well. Having sex releases hormones that bring us closer together and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple happy.

When a new baby enters your world it brings much joy, along with fatigue, stress, and general chaos. On average, parents with kids spend just 20 minutes a week being intimate, according to Anne Semans and Cathy Winks, co-authors of The Mother’s Guide to Sex. But there is hope! Here are some tips on how to keep the intimacy alive in your relationship:

[Read more…]

Emotional Regulation in Children

June 17, 2016 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC child

Emotional regulation is the ability to react in an appropriate manner to a situation. Some kids can find this challenging for varying reasons.

Young children typically have the most difficulty expressing their emotions or being able to regulate their emotions appropriately. They may show signs of depression, cry excessively, have difficulty coping, be anxious, aggressive, withdraw, become angry easily, and/or may demonstrate oppositional behaviours.

When children are young it is important that they learn to use the correct words to express the emotion that they are feeling (e.g., angry, scared, happy, sad). [Read more…]

Children Coping with Divorce

December 29, 2015 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC child

Some children go through divorce with relatively few problems while others have a very difficult time. For children divorce can be stressful, sad and confusing.

Your words, actions and ability to remain consistent are all important tools to reassure your children of your unchanging love. You may wonder what to say, how to say it, and what your child needs. These are all important questions.

What a child wants and needs during a divorce

For both parents to stay involved in their life to make them feel important and loved
For both parents to work hard at getting along so the child doesn’t feel like they did something wrong
Support from both parents without jealousy or being caught in the middle
Positive reinforcement from each parent about one another

What parents should say, and how they should say it

Tell the truth
Tell them you love them
Talk openly about the changes going on in the family
Answer their questions honestly
Avoid blame
Give age-appropriate explanations
Share important details like new living arrangements

It is normal for children to feel a range of difficult emotions but time, love and reassurance can help in healing. If things get worse rather than better it may be a sign that your child requires additional support. Here are some red flags to watch for:

Sleep problems
Trouble in school
Poor concentration
Self-injury, cutting, or eating disorders
Frequent angry or violent outbursts
Withdrawal from loved ones
Drug and/or alcohol abuse

By providing stability, structure and the comfort of routines, children know what to expect, which can aid in the transition. If you are struggling, there are qualified professionals who can help you, your child and the rest of your family find solutions. At Family TLC we believe that successful parenting requires both love and knowledge.

First Day Jitters or Separation Anxiety Disorder?

September 11, 2015 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC child school

It is normal for your child to have some anxiety before their first day of school or even afterwards. It takes time to adjust to the idea of being away from home and loved ones. This is especially true for those who are entering kindergarten or high school or are changing schools.

However, when do these jitters turn into a problem? How do you know if this goes beyond typical anxiety about change?

Here are some signs and symptoms that will help you know when to seek help:

[Read more…]

Stress Management: How to Regain a Sense of Calm

August 19, 2015 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC child Stress

We all respond to and manage our stress differently. In today’s society, there is no way to have a stress-free life; there is no secret cure to stress. However, there are ways we can manage our stress and learn to control our reactions to stressful situations.

Stress comes in many different forms. There are the daily stressors like bills, children, schedules, work issues and so on. Then there are stressful major life events such as the death of a loved one, losing a job, moving, and having a child. While these stressors vary in intensity, they can often be managed in similar ways.

Often people will resort to unhealthy coping techniques, such as drinking, doing drugs, binge eating, not eating enough, sleeping too much, or taking their stress out on others. While these techniques may provide temporary relief from the stress, it does not allow you to move forward and manage the stress.

[Read more…]

How to Ease Your Child’s Transition Between Mom and Dad’s House

July 24, 2015 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC child separation

It is no secret that separation and divorce is difficult for everyone involved. It is a time of stress and anxiety and children often have many questions such as, “What’s going to happen to me?”, “Where am I going to live?” or“Who am I going to live with?” Depending on a child’s age, this transition to their new normal may prove to be quite difficult and upsetting.

There are ways in which you can try and ease this transition and make it easier on your child. The biggest way to make this a little calmer on your child is consistency, consistency, consistency! The more things stay the same for the child, the better. For many children, the back and forth between their parents’ houses is what causes the most stress and the change in routine can cause anxiety. Again, it is the unknown that causes the most anguish in any situation. As long as you can keep the child’s routine as similar as possible, the easier this transition will be.

[Read more…]

Normal Versus Abnormal Emotions When Going Through Separation and Divorce

March 24, 2015 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC child coping separation

Everyone is bound to have some differences in the way they react to a separation. However, there are normal behaviors, and others that may be an indication of mental illness. This chart will help bring his blurred line between normal and abnormal into focus. [Read more…]

What is Asperger’s Syndrome?

December 10, 2014 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC child Parenting

When people hear the word “disabilities,” they immediately think it suggests it is an inability to see, hear, walk or do anything that many people would take for granted. Think about this for a moment…what if you weren’t able to feel, articulate or manage your feelings in a constructive way? What if you had difficulty forming close strong relationships with others?

For many who have Asperger’s syndrome, this is a part of who they are but they should never be defined by their challenges or shortcomings. They are defined by their unique gifts that their life offers to the world – the love they give and receive in their own way, the art they create, or the sound of their laughter. [Read more…]

Learning to Be a Less Protective Parent

October 30, 2014 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC child Parenting

I used to judge other parents for fawning over their children and being that over-protective, neurotic mother or father. I would think to myself, “that will never be me.” However, now that I’ve had a child of my own, my perspective seems to have shifted. Maybe they weren’t so over-protective after all? Maybe they just didn’t want anything bad to happen to their baby. Ever. I can relate to that now!

Mind you, now my husband is giving me that same look that I used to give to those over-protective parents not so long ago. I know I need to relax a little – I just get so anxious at the idea of letting my child out of my sight. I’m worried he will hurt himself, or could go missing. In my mind I know this is unrealistic. We live in a safe neighbourhood, and although the risk of him getting hurt is still there, I need to trust that he will follow my safety rules and learn on his own. [Read more…]