Co-parenting can be a challenging and complex process, especially when parents are separated or divorced. Fortunately, there are several co-parenting apps that can help parents communicate, organize, and share information related to their children. In this blog post, we’ll review 5 of the best co-parenting apps available in Ontario, Canada, and provide helpful information about each app.

1. OurFamilyWizard

• Price: OurFamilyWizard costs $99 USD per year for one parent, and an additional $50 USD per year for each additional parent. However, the app offers a 30-day free trial.

• Pros: OurFamilyWizard is one of the most comprehensive co-parenting apps available, with features such as a shared calendar, messaging, expense tracking, and a journal to document communication and activities. The app also includes a tone meter, which can help parents communicate in a respectful and neutral way. OurFamilyWizard is easy to use and has a user-friendly interface, making it accessible to parents of all tech skill levels.

• Cons: The app is relatively expensive compared to other co-parenting apps. Additionally, some parents may find the tone meter feature to be intrusive or unnecessary.

• Helpful information: OurFamilyWizard is widely used by family courts and attorneys, and can provide a clear record of communication and activities related to the children. The app is also available in multiple languages, including French.

• Cozi

• Price: Cozi is a free app, but it also offers a premium version called Cozi Gold for $29.99 USD per year.

• Pros: Cozi is a family organizer app that can also be used for co-parenting. It includes a shared calendar, to-do lists, grocery lists, and messaging, which can all be accessed and updated by both parents. Cozi is easy to use and has a visually appealing interface.

• Cons: Cozi is not designed specifically for co-parenting, so some features may not be as comprehensive as other co-parenting apps. The app also does not include a journal or expense tracking feature.

• Helpful information: Cozi can be used by extended family members, such as grandparents, aunts, or uncles, to stay informed about the children’s activities and schedules.

• Google Calendar

• Price: Google Calendar is a free app.

• Pros: Google Calendar is a widely used calendar app that can be easily shared with another parent. It allows users to create and share calendars with each other, which can be used to track custody schedules, appointments, and activities. The app is free and widely available on both iOS and Android platforms.

• Cons: Google Calendar does not include additional features specifically designed for co-parenting, such as messaging or expense tracking. The app also requires a Google account to use, which may not be desirable for some parents.

• Helpful information: Google Calendar can be integrated with other Google apps, such as Google Drive or Google Docs, to share documents or other information related to the children.

• Custody X Change

• Price: Custody X Change costs $149.99 USD for a one-year license, or $299.99 for a lifetime license. However, the app offers a 30-day money-back guarantee.

• Pros: Custody X Change includes features such as a custody calendar, parenting plan templates, expense tracking, and a journal. The app also provides detailed reports and statistics about custody time and expenses. Custody X Change is designed specifically for co-parenting and offers a comprehensive suite of features.

• Cons: The app is relatively expensive compared to other co-parenting apps. Additionally, some parents may find the interface to be less user-friendly than other co-parenting apps. The app also requires a desktop or laptop computer to use, as it is not available as a mobile app.

• Helpful information: Custody X Change is particularly useful for parents who are creating or modifying a parenting plan, as it includes pre-made templates and guides for creating a plan that meets legal requirements. The app also offers a free version of its parenting plan template.

• 2houses

• Price: 2houses costs $9.99 CAD per month or $99.99 CAD per year.

• Pros: 2houses includes features such as a shared calendar, messaging, expense tracking, and a journal. The app also includes a geolocation feature that allows parents to track the children’s location when they are with the other parent. 2houses has a visually appealing interface and is easy to use.

• Cons: The app is relatively expensive compared to some other co-parenting apps. Additionally, the geolocation feature may be seen as invasive or unnecessary by some parents.

• Helpful information: 2houses allows parents to upload and share documents related to the children, such as school reports or medical records. The app also includes a customizable expense tracking feature, which can be particularly useful for parents who have a shared custody arrangement.

In conclusion, choosing a co-parenting app that works for you and your co-parent is an important decision. It’s important to consider the features and price of each app, as well as any potential pros and cons. Ultimately, the app you choose should make co-parenting easier and more effective, while keeping the focus on the well-being of your children.

Co-parenting is a challenging journey, and it can be even more difficult when co-parents have different parenting styles. As a co-parent, it’s important to recognize and embrace these differences, rather than letting them become a source of conflict and tension after separation.

Embracing differences as co-parents means accepting that each parent has their unique approach to parenting. This approach is often influenced by factors such as upbringing, culture, and personal values. It’s important to recognize that there is no one “right” way to parent and that different approaches can be equally effective in supporting a child’s growth and development.

Instead of focusing on the differences, co-parents should try to find common ground and compromise. This may mean developing a parenting plan that takes into account both parents’ preferences and concerns, or finding ways to blend different parenting styles in a way that works for everyone. Co-parents can also learn from each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and use this knowledge to complement and support each other in their parenting journey.

Here are some tips that can be helpful when navigating different parenting styles after separation:

1. Practice active listening and effective communication: This means taking the time to hear and understand each other’s perspectives and avoiding judgment or criticism. Co-parents should be open and honest with each other about their parenting style and concerns, and work together to find solutions that benefit their child. Try to find a middle ground that works for both of you.

• Embracing differences as co-parents requires a willingness to be flexible and adapt: It’s important to recognize that parenting is not a static process, and that both parents and children will grow and change over time. By embracing these changes and differences, co-parents can create a positive and supportive environment for their children to thrive.

• Focus on the big picture: Remember that the most important thing is the well-being of your children, and that means putting their needs ahead of any disagreements you may have about parenting styles. Try to find common ground and compromise whenever possible.

• Be respectful: Even if you don’t agree with your co-parent’s parenting style, it’s important to be respectful and non-judgmental. Avoid criticizing or belittling their choices, as this can create unnecessary tension and conflict.

• Do not involve the children: The children are not to make any decisions regarding the parenting plan, you can hear their voice in the voice of the child report, but as the parents, you make the final decision. Do not talk poorly about the other parent’s parenting or involve your children in your co-parenting conversations.

• Set clear boundaries: It’s important to establish clear boundaries around each parent’s role and responsibilities, as well as any expectations around parenting styles. This can help minimize confusion and conflict, and ensure that everyone is on the same page.

• Seek support: Co-parenting can be challenging, especially when you have different parenting styles. Don’t hesitate to seek support from a therapist or mediator who can help you navigate these challenges and find common ground. Remember, the more you can work together as a team, the better off your children will be.

In conclusion, embracing differences as co-parents is not always easy, but it’s an essential part of building a strong and positive co-parenting relationship. By accepting and respecting each other’s parenting

Separated parenting can be challenging, especially when it comes to transferring children between households. It’s important to keep the well-being of your children in mind and do your best to make the process as healthy and stress-free as possible. Here are some tips for successful child transfers:

1. Have a clear schedule and plan: It’s important to have a clear schedule for when children will be with each parent and to stick to it as closely as possible. This can help reduce confusion and anxiety for the children.

2. Be on time: Arriving on time for child transfers sends the message to your children that they are a priority and that you respect their time and schedule.

3. Keep the focus on the children: When transferring children, try to avoid any discussions or arguments with your ex-partner. Keep the focus on the children and their needs.

4. Keep the transfer location neutral: If possible, try to have child transfers take place at a neutral location, such as a school or a public park. This can help reduce tension and stress for both the children and the parents.

5. Make the transfer a positive experience: Try to make the child transfer a positive experience for your children. This can include packing their favourite snacks or toys, or taking them to a fun activity after the transfer.

Separated parenting can be difficult, but by following these tips, you can help make child transfers a healthy and stress-free experience for everyone involved.

Co-parenting after a separation or divorce can be challenging, and parents need to work together to create a positive and supportive environment for their children. However, conflicts and misunderstandings can arise, which can lead to negative behaviours that can damage the co-parenting relationship.

John Gottman, a well-known psychologist and researcher who has studied relationships and marriage for over four decades, has identified four negative behaviours that he refers to as the “four horsemen” of relationship failure. These behaviours are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

1. Criticism involves attacking or fault-finding with your co-parent’s personality or character, rather than addressing specific behaviours or actions. This type of criticism can be particularly damaging to a co-parenting relationship, as it can erode trust and respect, and make it difficult to work together effectively.

• Contempt involves expressing disdain or disrespect towards your co-parent, through verbal or nonverbal means such as eye-rolling or sarcastic comments. This behaviour can be particularly harmful to a co-parenting relationship, as it can lead to feelings of hurt, anger, and resentment, and make it difficult to communicate effectively.

• Defensiveness involves reacting to your co-parent’s complaints or criticisms with counter-accusations or denial of responsibility, rather than taking an open and receptive approach to addressing the issue. This behaviour can make it difficult to resolve conflicts and can lead to a breakdown in communication, which can be particularly damaging to a co-parenting relationship.

• Stonewalling involves shutting down or withdrawing from the conversation, rather than actively engaging and attempting to resolve conflicts. This behaviour can be particularly damaging to a co-parenting relationship, as it can create feelings of isolation and disconnection, and make it difficult to work together effectively.

If you are experiencing any of these negative behaviours in your co-parenting relationship, it is important to address them as soon as possible to prevent further damage. Seeking the support of a parenting coach or other qualified professional can be helpful in learning how to effectively communicate and resolve conflicts. By working together to address and eliminate these negative behaviours, co-parents can build a stronger, more supportive, and more fulfilling relationship for the benefit of their children.

John Gottman is a well-known psychologist and researcher who has studied relationships and marriage for over four decades. In addition to his work on couples and relationships, Gottman has also conducted research on co-parenting, which refers to the process of raising children after a separation or divorce.

Gottman’s research on co-parenting has focused on the importance of maintaining a positive and supportive relationship between separated or divorced parents to promote the well-being and development of their children. He has identified several key factors that are important for successful co-parenting, including:

1. Good communication: Gottman emphasizes the importance of effective communication between co-parents to promote positive child outcomes.

• Flexibility and adaptability: Co-parents may need to be flexible and adaptable to accommodate each other’s schedules and needs, and to respond to the changing needs of their children.

• Mutual respect and support: Co-parents should strive to show respect and support for one another to create a positive and supportive environment for their children.

• Cooperation and collaboration: Gottman emphasizes the importance of cooperation and collaboration between co-parents to promote the well-being of their children.

Gottman’s work on co-parenting has provided several useful insights and strategies for separated or divorced parents who are working to build a positive and supportive relationship for the benefit of their children.

Separated or divorced parents can become healthy co-parents by communicating effectively, putting their children’s needs first, and resolving conflicts constructively.

Here are some specific strategies that can help:

1. Communicate effectively: It is important for separating parents to communicate effectively with each other to make decisions and coordinate logistics related to their children. This can involve using a co-parenting app or setting up regular communication through email or phone calls. It is also important to communicate with each other respectfully and civilly, even if there are conflicts or differences of opinion.

• Put the children’s needs first: Separated or divorced parents should prioritize the needs and well-being of their children above their own conflicts or issues. This may involve setting aside personal differences and working together to create a stable and supportive environment for their children.

• Resolve conflicts constructively: It is normal for separated or divorced parents to have conflicts or differences of opinion. However, it is important to resolve these conflicts in a constructive manner that is focused on finding solutions and putting the children’s needs first. This may involve seeking the help of a mediator or therapist or using co-parenting tools and resources to manage conflicts.

• Seek support: It can be helpful for separating parents to seek support from friends, family, or professionals (e.g., mediators, therapists) as they adjust to their new roles as co-parents. This can help them navigate the challenges of separation or divorce and find healthy ways to co-parent.

I hope these suggestions are helpful. Please note that every family is unique, and the specific strategies that work best for one family may not be the same for another. It may be helpful to seek the guidance of a parenting mediator or other professional to develop a co-parenting plan that is tailored to your specific needs and circumstances.

Acknowledge that this is one of the most difficult moments in the entire divorce process.

Knowing when the right time is:

Determining when the right time to tell your children will be based on their age and stage of development. However, the simplest guideline is to not rush to inform them. This is a difficult conversation to have, and one or both parents may want to rush to get it over with. It is important to understand that informing the children too early, can be detrimental to their acceptance process.

Understand your family’s circumstances. Each family is different, and their needs may vary, so take the time to think about what your divorce will look like.

5 steps to telling your children:

1. Parents discuss the separation first without the children
2. Both parents take time to process the new information on their own
3. Both parents discuss the separation process together
4. Practice telling the children together
5. Tell the children as a united force

Acknowledge that you are both only human, and one or both of you may be feeling a wide range of emotions. It is important to recognize how you will be responding and holing yourself during the conversation with the children. The practice conversation with the other parent will help you both gauge how your emotions may come to the surface when talking with the children. If you know that one or both of you will either cry or become visibly frustrated, it may be best to keep the conversation with the children short and to the point.

Keep in mind that your children will need time to process, as did the both of you, and may want to discuss the separation again at a later time. Understanding your children and their needs will help determine the best way to have the conversation.

Ages and Stages:

Young Children under 9

• Protect the children from conflict
• Timing: Best time to inform the children in their age group is to inform them when circumstances in their environment will be changing. Determining to inform the children when you anticipate something to change, such as one parent moving out. Important not to inform the children the day before the change, but not too soon before the change. A rule of thumb may be to inform the young children 2 weeks before the change.

Older children 10+

• Protect older children from conflict
• Timing: Older children may need to be informed earlier than younger children. At this age, the children can pick up on emotional cues and relational dynamic changes.

The Personality of the Child

• Take some time to think about the personality of your children, what message may be best received, and their coping mechanisms with the unknown.
• Observing the children after the conversation to see how they are navigating the new situation to ensure you are supporting them.

What to Tell the Children

• Reassure the children that both parents will be a part of their lives
• Tell them they are loved and it is not their fault
• Identify what will be consistent: School, one home, friends, etc.
• Focus on the positive: two bedrooms, two Christmas, more toys.

What Not to Tell the Children

• Too much detail
• Fairly short conversation getting one concept across
• Not placing blame on either parent, causes conflict where the conversation should be neutral between the parents

Tips:

1. Do not underestimate how important the practice conversation is.
2. Remember you are still a family and that only your relational dynamic is changing, and that you will always be family as the children’s parents.
3. Avoid assigning blame.
4. Children do not need to know details; it is not helpful or appropriate to provide details of the breakdown in the relationship. They have a right to have a relationship with both parents and should not be placed in a situation to choose one over the other.
5. Put aside personal differences and focus on how to approach this in the best way for your children.
6. Each family member should have an independent ally to whom they feel they can talk.
7. You are a team.

When working with clients navigating a separation, it is important to understand the journey of their emotional state and what this may look like. Whether you are a family mediator, family lawyer, couples counsellor or divorce professional, being able to acknowledge and recognize the emotional stages your clients will go through is imperative to their readiness to negotiate and come to agreements.  

The emotional stages of separation and divorce can look like these four emotions: Shock, Crumbling, Adjusting and then Relief (S.C.A.R.). These emotions are not linear, but ebb and flow with the growth the individual experiences. Both partners will experience these emotions, however, they can often look different and occur at various times during the separation process.  

SHOCK: Every individual experiences the shock stage, as the initiator or not, having the first realization that the marriage is ending or approaching the end is difficult to grasp. Altering your perception from “I am married” to “we are separating” results in a shift in self-identity. At this stage, each person is attempting to grasp to repair or partake in steps to stop the end. This often looks different for each person.  

CRUMBLING: This stage is arguably the most difficult to pass through, as it often feels like a downward spiral. This occurs when the individual realizes the marriage is done and nothing can be done to salvage it. The individual is starting the journey of loss and grieving the relationship, their identity, their previous visions of the future, home and more.  

ADJUSTING: This stage is described as up and down. This is where the individual in one moment is thinking about rebuilding their future and displaying glimmers of hope, and can quickly spike down to experiencing feelings of pain and fear overtaking their rational thoughts. However, this stage shows a slow climb to a new identity, new story with the grief becoming bearable, less exhausting and developing healthy coping strategies.  

RELIEF: Self-reflection and growth are the milestones of this stage, where each individual can take ownership and blame for the relationship, but leave it in the past. Not every individual will experience this stage, as they can be held back by irrational behaviours, unhelpful anger, guilt or resentment. The achievement of this stage is a true blessing of a change in perspective and happiness in the present with hopes for the future.  

It is true that the ending of a significant relationship does leave a scar. How you manage the transition determines how big the scar is and whether it stays an open wound or heals nicely so it is hardly noticeable.  

If you are looking for more information on the process of separation or seeking a divorce professional contact Family TLC to book a consultation today.  

Why do lawyers work in separation and divorce?  

Because they care about their clients, and they want to help people through challenging times. Everyone deserves to know their rights and have an advocate on their side, that is what lawyers do so well.  

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Couples’ counsellors have supported many couples in navigating their relationships to build stronger, healthier, 

happier relationships. However, even with an affective couples’ counsellors sometimes couples wait too long to access services or may have to come to realize that the best decision is to separate.  

Commonly, the couple are afraid for their child/ren, lost in how to co-parent apart, terrified of becoming a divorce horror story, and concerned about the expenses of lawyers and court. They are in distress and afraid of what comes next.  

With the big question, Now What?  

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