Grief and the Ghosts of Christmas Past

On December 19, 2013 / Individual Counselling /

Coping with feelings of grief is difficult and complicated at any time, but during the Christmas season it is even harder. We think about those who have died, memories of previous celebrations surface, and our hearts ache. Our ghosts walk with us and make our steps heavy.

Over the years, Family TLC has helped many people turn their sorrow into a celebration and even into laughter. I invite you to read on and share in the stories of some of our ghosts of Christmas past. You may be surprised to find that they may help you celebrate with your own ghosts. The names of our clients have been changed to protect their privacy. [Read more…]

Painkiller Addiction

On October 17, 2013 / Individual Counselling /

People often assume that if a doctor prescribed a drug, it can’t possibly be harmful, yet many painkillers such as opiates are highly addictive. Without careful, extensive monitoring by a doctor, a user can easily get into trouble.

Most people who must take pain medication do not intend to become dependent. They do not use the drug to get high, but after a period of prolonged use they can become consumed by the drug until they cannot function without it.

Many of these issues arise when the user misinterprets or simply ignores the doctor’s instructions. A person may take more than the prescribed dosage and may also continue to take the painkiller for many months beyond what the doctor advised.
[Read more…]

Youth and Addictions

On October 10, 2013 / Individual Counselling /

Teen addiction is becoming more and more prevalent in our society today. Young people face pressures in all areas of their lives. Their parents pressure them to get good grades. They pressure themselves to do well enough to get into their college or university of choice. Friends pressure them to do things they might not have done otherwise.

They feel all of this pressure while balancing school and work, along with extra-curricular activities like basketball, competitive dance, music, skating, swimming or other thing they enjoy.

Escaping the pressure

Sometimes all of this pressure breaks a young person down and they turn to drugs, alcohol, or video games – anything that can help them escape the turmoil. Teens are often unsure who can they can talk to about these feelings so they try to ignore or suppress the feelings in hopes they will go away on their own.
[Read more…]

How Do I Tell My Kids I Have An Addiction?

On October 3, 2013 / Individual Counselling /

Parents often wonder how they can tell their children they have an addiction. Truth is, the children probably already know.

When is drinking an addiction?

Imagine this scenario: A single mom arrives home from a 12-hour shift at work after picking up her two children at school. She empties lunch bags, cooks dinner, helps with homework, supervises showers, reads to the kids before bed, tucks them in, closes their door and then she lets out a sigh.

It’s not so much a sigh of relief as a sigh of being exhausted and knowing that she still has chores to do before she can even sit down for the first time that day. She goes downstairs, cleans up the dishes from dinner, makes lunches for the next day, signs permission forms and finally, she is done. She can now relax. She can sit down. Why not have a glass of wine? Wine helps her to calm down and helps her unwind from her day.

There is nothing wrong with having a glass of wine or two when you’ve had a rough day, when you’re having a dinner party, or when you just want to relax. A problem arises when you find yourself thinking about this glass or two or three while you’re at work during the day. So you figure what’s the harm in having a glass while I’m out for lunch at work? Then you come home and instead of a glass or two, you find yourself drinking a whole bottle or two, or more.
[Read more…]

Understanding Depression

On June 20, 2013 / Individual Counselling /

Whether it’s happening to you or someone you love, depression can be upsetting. Understanding the different types of depression, as well as available treatment, is an important step towards returning to balance.

The six types of depression

1. Situational depression – This is when a person has something going on in their environment that’s causing them to have symptoms of depression, such as death, the end of a marriage, or something else that’s happening in their life.

2. Dysthymia – With dysthymia, over time someone’s typical way of feeling and being is lowered. There’s more sadness and discontentment, and even when they are happy they appear more subdued or flatter than what most people would consider happy. They become content with this lower level and don’t recognize that anything is wrong. This becomes their “normal.” [Read more…]

Stressed, Anxious or Depressed? Try Massage Therapy

On June 5, 2013 / Individual Counselling /

This is a guest post by Dan Carell, RMT, from the Georgian Professional Centre in Barrie.

The general or basic relaxation style of massage is usually called Swedish or Classic massage. Its history starts in Europe where gymnastic athletes would receive a massage after each workout. This unique style of massage become known as Swedish.

When performed correctly, a Swedish massage can help you to calm your busy mind and relax your tight muscles, leaving you focused and ready to face the rest of your day, or wonderfully serene and prepared for a good night’s sleep.

But does massage therapy really work? Yes, and here is some research that demonstrates how well. [Read more…]

Understanding Teenage Anxiety

On May 20, 2013 / Individual Counselling /

At Family TLC we are noticing a rise in anxiety rates in teenagers. What does that rise look like? More teenagers are coming in for help and they are describing stress and anxiety that is more intense, frequent and longer lasting.

We are commonly hearing teens say, “My heart is racing, I can’t sleep, I feel like I am under pressure, I am afraid of things I have never been afraid of before.” We also hear things like, “I feel so sad and lonely, I worry every day, I worry about performing, I worry about fitting in, I worry about meeting expectations.” We also get more reports of teenage aggression and destruction, which is commonly misunderstood anxiety.

Anxiety is meant to help us, acting as a natural warning sign that results in a healthy response to take some kind of action. In these quotes from teens, though, we are seeing that the intensity of the physical, emotional, and mental impact is so overwhelming it becomes debilitating. [Read more…]

The Analogy of Loss

On April 15, 2013 / Individual Counselling /

Do you ever feel like no one understands your experience of loss? The best way I know to describe grief is with an analogy I first heard several years ago from a woman who worked in hospice care. I have added to it over the years, and now I would like to share it with you.

The river of life

Imagine you are in your boat on the river of life. Your boat is comfortable and sail worthy. All of a sudden, without warning, the river leads you over Niagara Falls. All you know is you are falling and it is very noisy. You crash into the freezing cold water and drop deep into the turbulent waters. There are bubbles everywhere and you have no idea which way is up. You start to feel pressure in your chest and it feels like you are going to die.

You realize you have to get air. Miraculously, you manage to get your mouth above water and you gulp in some air, only to be pulled under and tossed around again. You continue this way for what seems like an eternity, just managing to steal enough breath to survive. You are exhausted, wet and cold. You are shocked by what happened. You are finding it difficult to carry on as your energy is depleted and nothing is familiar. [Read more…]

Are You an Adult Bully?

On November 21, 2012 / Individual Counselling /

There is little written to adult bullies, even though they are prevalent. Maybe it is time for everyone to ask themselves, “Am I a bully?” Here are some questions I think everyone should reflect on. Try not to deflect these questions, but point the finger at yourself for a few minutes and reflect on your behaviour.

Do you intentionally try to hurt or upset someone else? You might be big or strong but many bullies are small and clever. Maybe because you are an adult, you mask your bullying behind a façade of trying to help, but really if you are honest with yourself, you are trying to control.

Do other people avoid your company? Perhaps they make excuses or say outright, “No, I can’t come”. [Read more…]

Dealing with Stress

On September 10, 2012 / Individual Counselling /

Does your stomach feel like it is constantly in knots? Stress not only wears your body down physically, it also threatens your mental well being. Stressors can be major life events or day-to-day pressures.

Major stressors include: moving, leaving school, getting married, having a baby, changing jobs, divorce, illness, experiencing losses.

Daily stressors include: being stuck in traffic, conflicts at work, conflicts with family members, deadlines and multiple work demands, the demands of family and work life, the fast pace of modern life. [Read more…]