Sex is more than just a physical act, it is a mental, emotional and for some a spiritual bond as well. Having sex releases hormones that bring us closer together and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple happy.
When a new baby enters your world it brings much joy, along with fatigue, stress, and general chaos. On average, parents with kids spend just 20 minutes a week being intimate, according to Anne Semans and Cathy Winks, co-authors of The Mother’s Guide to Sex. But there is hope! Here are some tips on how to keep the intimacy alive in your relationship:
Reconnect – The kids may take up most of your life, but reserve some time to talk as a couple about other things. It may be hard, but try and connect in a conversation like you used to have before you had a child.
Stay in touch – It is so important to keep a physical connection between you. Many forget or just don’t realize how important it is to hug, kiss, and hold hands. These small acts of intimacy keep you connected and have been shown to reduce stress.
Be spontaneous – Rediscover sex outside of the bedroom. Try the living room couch, the shower, or somewhere else. Switch it up to keep things fresh.
Scheduling – Sometimes it is necessary for two busy working parents to pencil in their time alone. Scheduling a regular date night can be very beneficial to your relationship.
Get a babysitter – Whether it be a paid babysitter or the grandparents, having a reliable caregiver for your children allows you to drop them off and have an hour or a few hours to invest in your marriage and perhaps your sanity.
Friends – Go out without each other, too. A night out with friends is almost as important as date night. You can’t be each other’s only outlet, so find some other ones. Having a life outside of your family will make you a better spouse, a better parent, and a better person. Whether it’s book club, dinner with friends, or volunteering, it will give you some independence.
If you’re having trouble bringing intimacy back into your relationship, perhaps some professional guidance is needed. At Family TLC there are qualified professionals in couples counselling that can help you and your partner find solutions.