What is the greatest gift you can give your child during a divorce? Being your healthiest self.
Why be your healthiest self?
If you are healthy you can:
- Focus on developing solutions instead of wasting your time on problems.
- Give your children stability and consistency rather than taking them on an emotional roller coaster.
- Respond to situations and de-escalate them instead of over-reacting and making things bigger.
- Manage conflict between households instead of increasing the conflict your children are exposed to.
- Help your children adjust rather than witness your children having difficulty adjusting.
How to be your healthiest self
- Watch for negative thinking and change it. Instead of, “Oh no, what now?” think “We can work this out.”
- Ask, “What do I need and how will I make sure that need is met?”
- Be gentle and kind to yourself. Everything you are feeling is normal. It is even normal to feel two things at once or to have your feelings fluctuate. Find healthy ways to release your uncomfortable feelings.
- Find support. It is okay and essential to ask for help.
- Have some fun every day. Even if it’s just for a minute; this is so important. This will help build your confidence and self-worth.
- Deal with the small immediate things first. Divorce is overwhelming and changes everything. You can gradually allow yourself to look at coping over the long term.
- Focus on the positive. What is working? What are you grateful for? What is great about you?
- Take action. Make a plan with a date and time, stay accountable and review your progress.
Being your healthiest self will help you and your child cope more effectively with the challenges of divorce.