How are You Coping with the Empty Nest?

On September 16, 2014 / Family Counselling /

What is the purpose of a nest? The purpose of a nest is to shelter the eggs until they hatch! Animals keep the nest together for short period of time but humans keep the nest intact for approximately twenty years.

Then the day comes when the kids spread their wings and fly. They begin to set up their own nest, maybe an apartment close by or a house thousands of kilometres away! They may head off to college or university. Whatever the situation, your house is suddenly empty.

You have now become an “empty-nester.” How do you know if you are managing this life transition and how can you determine if you should seek some assistance in managing this change? [Read more…]

Helicopter Parenting

On August 27, 2014 / Family Counselling /

All parents, and especially first-time parents, are adamantly concerned with the safety and wellbeing of their children. With information on the latest diseases and injuries so readily available in today’s technological age, it is easy to get caught up trying to protect your children from every conceivable threat.

Parents often believe that protecting their child should be their number one priority and that it is in the child’s best interest for them to be shielded from danger and difficult situations at all costs. In reality, having an over-protective or “helicopter parent” can actually inhibit a child’s development and lead to more issues than benefits down the road.

An obvious problem associated with being a helicopter parent is that your child will become dependent on you when dealing with situations that trouble them or make them uncomfortable. Part of growing up is learning to take care of yourself, but when mom or dad is always available when you encounter adversity, your independence can lag behind later in life when it really matters.

It may not be easy to watch your child struggle with something, but weighing the benefits from a lesson they will learn against the possible harmful results is a valuable way to determine if your intervention in a situation is truly needed.

Surely you don’t want your child to experience third-degree burns for them to learn not to touch boiling pots on the stove, but there are some lessons that are best learned the hard way. If your child puts up a fight every time you try and put sunscreen on them in the summer, letting them experience the pain of a sunburn will likely have them applying their own sun block before their next trip to the beach. [Read more…]

Bribing Your Child?

On August 21, 2014 / Family Counselling /

Getting your child to do what you want can be an exhausting task. Whether you’re trying to get them to do something in their best interest or yours, having a kid who listens to you can greatly reduce the stress in your life. But how can you deal with situations where what your child wants and what you want are two different things? Giving them small rewards for doing what you want could be the answer.

Bribery may have a bad connotation but we’re not talking about doing anything unlawful here. Providing an incentive is probably a better way to think about this and since it’s usually not too difficult to find something that a child wants, incentivizing them with something small can be very easy. [Read more…]

Money Stress? 5 Simple Money-Saving Tips

On July 16, 2014 / Individual Counselling /

Do you have money stress? Charmaine Huber is a certified money coach with Money Coaches Canada. She helps individuals, families and entrepreneurs by making money management easy to understand, and most of all, simple to do. She believes it is never too late to take control of your finances. We asked Charmaine to share her best money-saving tips.

1. Switch your bank accounts to a bank that respects you. You shouldn’t be spending your hard-earned money on bank fees – why are you paying the bank to keep YOUR money? They should be paying YOU some interest on your checking and savings accounts.

2. Turn off the television. One big way to save money is to watch less television. There are a lot of financial benefits to this: less exposure to guilt-inducing ads, more time to focus on other things in life, less electrical use, and so on. It’s great to unwind in the evening, but find another way to do that.

3. Master the thirty-day rule. Whenever you’re considering making a purchase you think you just have to have, wait thirty days and then ask yourself if you still want that item. Quite often, you’ll find that the urge to buy has passed and you’ll have saved yourself some money by simply waiting. [Read more…]

Do You Have a Debt-Free Date?

On July 2, 2014 / Marriage Counselling /

By Charmaine Huber

Google debt stress and you’ll get over 69 MILLION results. Credit is seductive. Credit card companies spend millions of dollars to convince you to borrow their money. They have catchy slogans like:

It’s everywhere you want to be. (Visa)
There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else there’s Mastercard.
What’s in your wallet? (Capital One)
Don’t leave home without it. (American Express)

It’s no wonder that credit monitoring agency TransUnion is predicting the average consumer’s debt will reach an all time high by the end of 2014.

But there are things you can do right now to lower debt and debt stress. [Read more…]

Anorexia and Our Son – A Personal Story

On June 26, 2014 / Individual Counselling /

This is a guest post by Wendy Hunter.

As a parent of a 15-year-old boy, I never would have believed that he would be diagnosed with anorexia. Unfortunately, that is exactly what happened 10 years ago to my son Steven. Initially we thought he had mononucleosis because he was always exhausted and didn’t want to eat much. I suspected it was something else, especially when he told me he thought he was fat! At the time, he was about 115 pounds and 5’10”. I contacted the eating disorders program at Royal Victoria Hospital (RVH) in Barrie and the journey to get him well began.

As a parent, I moved into action. We began working with the RVH eating disorders Program. My son and I both received individual counselling and both participated in group counselling with other families who were struggling like us. It was quite helpful, especially for me because I kept wondering what I did wrong as a parent. How did I fail my son? [Read more…]

Eating Disorders – A Client’s Personal Story

On June 24, 2014 / Individual Counselling /

The following is a personal story from someone with an eating disorder:

I can start off by saying that my story is probably not unlike many other stories of people who have suffered from an eating disorder.

I can say that I truly do not believe that anyone can understand what it’s really like to have an eating disorder unless you yourself have had one as well. Many people simply think that it is an issue with food and that the person can be cured if they would just eat.

That is so far from the truth and probably the smallest component of an eating disorder and is the easiest part to treat. Most treatment programs do focus on eating and food consumption because this is obviously important as the body needs food in order to sustain itself.

However, any good eating disorder treatment will need to focus on the inside, the psychological aspect of the disease in order to fully treat it and be successful. [Read more…]

Eating Disorders – Guidelines for Therapists

On June 23, 2014 / Individual Counselling /

Current family-based therapies recognize that although we do not necessarily know what causes eating disorders, there are many factors that contribute to their development.

The three main types of eating disorders

Anorexia nervosa: People with anorexia tend to have a distorted image of their bodies, believing that they are overweight even if they are dangerously thin. They refuse to eat, often count calories obsessively, and exercise excessively. Generally speaking, those with anorexia tend to be perfectionistic and often come from families where there are high expectations.

Bulimia nervosa: People with bulimia tend to eat excessive amounts of food and then purge the food from their bodies through the use of diuretics, laxatives, vomiting and exercise. There tends to be a great deal of guilt and shame attached to this disorder, therefore their activities are done secretively. People with bulimia often tend to be impulsive in nature.

Binge eating disorder: This is the same as bulimia to the extent that people tend to eat excessive amounts of food and often experience episodes of “ out of control” eating. However, they do not purge their bodies of food. Again, as there tends to be a great deal of guilt and shame, and their activities are often done in a secretive fashion. [Read more…]

Dialectic Behavioural Therapy

On January 29, 2014 / Individual Counselling /

The goal of any treatment is to help the patient in their effort to build a life that they feel is worth living and encourage their feeling of self-worth. The idea behind dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) is to create a dynamic that promotes the two opposing goals of change and acceptance.

By helping the patient change and accept what has happened in their past, they can move forward with greater ease and accept their new “normal.” This also balances the patient’s desire to eliminate all painful experiences and accept life’s inevitable pain.

How DBT is used in addiction counselling

DBT has typically been used to treat patients who suffer from multiple severe psychosocial disorders and those who are chronically suicidal. DBT has been also designed to promote abstinence from drug and alcohol use and to reduce the length and impact of possible relapses. In addiction counselling, DBT teaches patients to envision, articulate, pursue and sustain the goals they have set in treatment. [Read more…]

S.C.A.R – The Emotional Stages of Separation and Divorce

On January 17, 2014 / Divorce Counselling /

When you’re going through divorce, you can expect to experience four distinct emotional stages: shock, crumbling, adjusting, and then relief (S.C.A.R.).

In the first infographic, you see the main feelings that accompany each stage. In the second infographic, you’ll see the types of things you may be thinking and feeling during each of these emotional stages of divorce.

In the final infographic, we offer several coping strategies for each stage.

If you’re going through a divorce, use these charts to better understand what you’re going through and help yourself heal.

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