Family Counselling Articles - Page 3 of 8

The Emotional Side of Co-Parenting

June 24, 2015 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC children Parenting separation

Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world. It does not come with a manual and your children depend on you to guide them through. You want to do what is best for them and make the right decisions.

Separation and divorce are common in today’s society. A separation affects everyone differently and at varying stages. Communication during and after the separation is key. Many people find it difficult to communicate because your emotions are so intense and you may be in denial about your new reality. You may feel sad, angry, let down, depressed and find it difficult to speak to or communicate with your ex-partner.

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PTSD and First Responders

May 14, 2015 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC PTSD

We often hear the phrases, “They run towards danger when everyone else is running away,” “They put their lives on the line every day,” “They saved my child’s life.” These statements are true of all first responders. They are the ones who devote their lives to saving others. They are the ones who are first to respond on scene to tragic accidents, assaults, murders, search and rescue operations, and other major crimes.

Once they have completed a call, they get another one and move on. There is no real time to process what they have seen, witnessed and heard. They take these images home with them and are left to process them on their own.

Many first responders find that over time they are not able to sleep or function normally through the day, and are haunted by nightmares and flashbacks.

Unfortunately there is still a large stigma around PTSD and first responders. Many do not feel that they have support of their colleagues or of their superiors and therefore they suffer in silence. They may feel that they are supposed to be strong and do not report the symptoms they are facing. They may feel like these symptoms will subside and they suppress their thoughts and feelings until they reach a boiling point. They may feel like if they come forward, they will be ridiculed or will lose their job.

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Normal Versus Abnormal Emotions When Going Through Separation and Divorce

March 24, 2015 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC child coping separation

Everyone is bound to have some differences in the way they react to a separation. However, there are normal behaviors, and others that may be an indication of mental illness. This chart will help bring his blurred line between normal and abnormal into focus. [Read more…]

Holiday Traditions – Creating New Rituals

December 17, 2014 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC blended families grief Parenting

Are you a step family? A blended family? Or maybe this Christmas is the first one without a loved one. How do you get through the holiday season when these circumstances bring stress, struggle or sorrow?

You may remember past holidays, good and bad memories, people or relationships. These thoughts can bring about feelings of sadness, anger, or even nothingness. Your energy may be low and you just want it all to be over. These feelings and thoughts may lead to a belief that the holidays are going to be difficult.

At Family TLC we have seen the value of rituals and how they can make the holidays more than bearable. We help people create rituals which are a sequence of activities and repetitive behaviours that alleviate emotional distress and either prevent or neutralize anxiety.

Creating rituals is not easy, it might even be painful. However, the ritual will help. Remember, time does not heal; time just allows you to store the pain for another day. In order to heal you need to be intentional in your healing. This means to focus on the pain so you can release it and feel the positivity that is left behind. [Read more…]

What is Asperger’s Syndrome?

December 10, 2014 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC child Parenting

When people hear the word “disabilities,” they immediately think it suggests it is an inability to see, hear, walk or do anything that many people would take for granted. Think about this for a moment…what if you weren’t able to feel, articulate or manage your feelings in a constructive way? What if you had difficulty forming close strong relationships with others?

For many who have Asperger’s syndrome, this is a part of who they are but they should never be defined by their challenges or shortcomings. They are defined by their unique gifts that their life offers to the world – the love they give and receive in their own way, the art they create, or the sound of their laughter. [Read more…]

ADHD – Coping as a Family

November 17, 2014 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC ADD-ADHD Parenting

Having a child with ADHD means dedicating time to meeting their special needs and making sure that doesn’t come at the expense of your other children. This was easier said than done. Showing each child that they are equally loved while keeping in mind the needs of the ADHD child requires a delicate balance.

It became apparent early on that my son’s siblings began to feel jealous and acted out if they sensed my attention being shifted away from them.

Like a squeaky wheel, the child who was the loudest often got the most attention and this was usually my son with ADHD. Most of my energy was spent on meeting my child’s special needs, whether it was therapy, extra time helping with homework, or consistent effort in managing disobedience and impulsivity. [Read more…]

Learning to Be a Less Protective Parent

October 30, 2014 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC child Parenting

I used to judge other parents for fawning over their children and being that over-protective, neurotic mother or father. I would think to myself, “that will never be me.” However, now that I’ve had a child of my own, my perspective seems to have shifted. Maybe they weren’t so over-protective after all? Maybe they just didn’t want anything bad to happen to their baby. Ever. I can relate to that now!

Mind you, now my husband is giving me that same look that I used to give to those over-protective parents not so long ago. I know I need to relax a little – I just get so anxious at the idea of letting my child out of my sight. I’m worried he will hurt himself, or could go missing. In my mind I know this is unrealistic. We live in a safe neighbourhood, and although the risk of him getting hurt is still there, I need to trust that he will follow my safety rules and learn on his own. [Read more…]

How One Teen Plans to Survive the First Day at a New School

October 15, 2014 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC anxiety bullying child school teenager

Tomorrow is a big day. I’m starting at a brand new school. I miss my old school – all the people and the memories. Everything was familiar and normal there. Going somewhere different with new teachers, new classmates, and a totally different building is so much to take in! It’s overwhelming, exciting, and scary all at the same time.

I cannot eat and I really do not know how I will sleep tonight. I know this is a fresh start and I want to make it a good one, but will I?

A week ago I went to my new school and walked around. I wanted to get to know the school a bit, so now I think I have an idea of where some of my classes are going to be. I would be so embarrassed if I got lost and showed up to one of my classes late! [Read more…]

Divorce – One Child’s Story

October 1, 2014 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC child Parenting

When things didn’t work out between my mom and dad I was very sad, confused and angry. My mom and dad separated when I was 9 and my brother was 4. It was Christmas time and so many things began to change from that moment. Dad ended up leaving our home, but before he left he broke a lot of things and tore apart pictures. Our house looked like it had been broken into and I was extremely scared.

Dad was now gone and my mom did what she could but it wasn’t enough. Our house was taken by the bank and my mom only had a short amount of time to pack up everything we had and put it in storage. Mom was embarrassed because there were notices from the bank posted on our front door that all the neighbours could see. The electricity and heat were cut off and we knew she was running out of time. [Read more…]

The “C” Word – A Personal Story of Coping With Cancer

September 17, 2014 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC child grief Parenting

Suddenly I felt like I could no longer breathe; it was as if someone had placed a heavy weight on my chest. There were no tears, and I wouldn’t describe the feeling as sadness but instead, more as an overwhelming sense of numbness. Infinite thoughts seemed to be stirring in my brain, bouncing around from side to side, but the main thought that pushed through the chaos with clarity was one question, one word…. Why?

Perhaps it is cliché to say, but my mom is my best friend, my rock, and truly my guardian angel on earth. So, logically, the day it was confirmed that my mother had breast cancer was the day I felt that my whole world became uplifted, shaken upside down, and scattered anywhere and everywhere.

I did realize that this was bigger than me; I knew I would have to step up and become her rock like she had always been mine. I knew I would have to take over responsibilities that she would no longer be able to attend to; I knew I would have to take care of her. [Read more…]

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