Welcome to the club. According to the American Psychological Association you’re not alone, as the effects of climate change are triggering both immediate and long-term psychological consequences for people all around the world. [Read more…]
Children’s Needs While Going Through a Divorce
The psychological needs of a child are greatly increased while going through divorce. They must deal with an emotional and economic roller coaster, all the while feeling guilt, fear and confusion.
If parents are consciously focused on and sensitive to their child’s essential needs during and after the divorce, they will do a better job of meeting them. [Read more…]
Oppositional Defiant Disorder in Children – What to Look For
Has anyone ever said to you “He’s just being a kid,” or “She will grow out of it, don’t worry about it”? In some cases, this can be true. Sometimes, kids are just being kids and sometimes they will grow out of it.
However, sometimes there is something else going on and further intervention may be required. Oppositional defiant disorder often goes undiagnosed because the symptoms are similar to those of a strong-willed child or those exhibited by children who are diagnosed with ADHD.
Other parents are simply told their child’s symptoms are a natural part of development. [Read more…]
How to Find a Therapist
At Family TLC, we see our counselling clients as strong people who are investing in their own wellness and actively participating in their self-improvement – despite any stigma that still exists about asking for help.
Once you’re ready to seek that help, your next step is to find the right therapist for you. Here are some suggestions to help with that process:
- Ask family and friends: Ask those who are in therapy how they were able to find a therapist and if they like their therapist. If they do, find out what exactly it is they like about them and see if their therapist would be willing to give you a list of referrals. If none of your friends are in therapy then you can always get referrals by calling institutes (e.g., Jungian/Psychodynamic/Psychoanalytic) to find therapists in your area. Many of these institutes provide an intake to match you with a therapist in your area who can help you overcome the obstacles you are facing.
My Parents’ Divorce – A Personal Story
I remember the day my mom told me that her and my dad were getting a divorce. I think I will always remember it clearly and vividly, not only the picture but the feelings I felt as well.
My parents’ divorce happened when I was 16 and going through the ups and downs of being a teenager, dealing with the drama of friends and boys, and loving it one minute and hating it the next.
My dad traveled a lot for work so he would be gone across the world one month and then back home the next month. On this particular month he was gone.
I almost preferred our relationship when it was long distance because when he was home my parents fought a lot. It was clear that neither of them were very happy being around each other, and without them intending too, their resentment had an impact on my life. Dinnertime became a stressful event because they were forced to face each other and that meant an argument was sure to ensue. They would talk often about divorce so maybe that’s why I wasn’t so shocked when my mother eventually told me they were getting one. [Read more…]
Keep Your Sex Life Alive Post-Kids
Sex is more than just a physical act, it is a mental, emotional and for some a spiritual bond as well. Having sex releases hormones that bring us closer together and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple happy.
When a new baby enters your world it brings much joy, along with fatigue, stress, and general chaos. On average, parents with kids spend just 20 minutes a week being intimate, according to Anne Semans and Cathy Winks, co-authors of The Mother’s Guide to Sex. But there is hope! Here are some tips on how to keep the intimacy alive in your relationship:
How to Have Less Divorce Stress
Your spouse just told you it is over! While anyone in this situation would experience some divorce stress, does it mean you will completely fall apart? Maybe, or maybe not.
What is the difference between those that handle this situation well and those that do not? According to a 2012 study by David A. Sbarra, Hillary L. Smith, and Matthias R. Mehl of the University of Arizona, it is self-compassion.
Stages of Disconnection in a Marriage
Divorce prevention is about understanding that divorces do not just happen. There are phases marriages go through before they end. What phase is your marriage in?
Pleasing – Both spouses feel happy, hopeful and content. They forgive each other and are able to forget.
Familiar – Spouses feel relaxed with each other, but as the normal stressors happen in life they start to build resentment and take each other for granted.
Uncomfortable – Unhappiness starts to set in. Most couples do not know how to communicate their needs directly so they ask indirectly. Do this, do that. They cannot express their real needs and therefore cannot meet each other’s needs.
The Benefits of Counseling
No doubt you’ve heard that counseling has many benefits, but perhaps you don’t know if it can benefit you. There are many life transitions in which the help of a counselor can immensely lessen the stress and confusion. Some of the most common are as follows:
How to Negotiate During your Separation
Negotiating during your separation and divorce can be a very difficult time. When you have to communicate with your ex-partner and discuss complex issues, it may trigger emotions and bring up past memories that you would much rather move on from.
There are ways to prepare that can help to alleviate some of these difficult emotions and can keep the negotiation process on track. By preparing, you will help to ensure that your negotiations remain on the right path, that your voice is heard, that your wishes are clear, and that your emotions do not get in the way of the process.
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