How to Negotiate During your Separation
There are ways to prepare that can help to alleviate some of these difficult emotions and can keep the negotiation process on track. By preparing, you will help to ensure that your negotiations remain on the right path, that your voice is heard, that your wishes are clear, and that your emotions do not get in the way of the process.
Emotional Regulation in Children
Emotional regulation is the ability to react in an appropriate manner to a situation. Some kids can find this challenging for varying reasons.
Young children typically have the most difficulty expressing their emotions or being able to regulate their emotions appropriately. They may show signs of depression, cry excessively, have difficulty coping, be anxious, aggressive, withdraw, become angry easily, and/or may demonstrate oppositional behaviours.
When children are young it is important that they learn to use the correct words to express the emotion that they are feeling (e.g., angry, scared, happy, sad). [Read more…]
Separation: How to Talk to Your Ex
Many people try to avoid talking to their ex at all costs, only communicating through email, texts or a neutral third party.
Children Coping with Divorce
Some children go through divorce with relatively few problems while others have a very difficult time. For children divorce can be stressful, sad and confusing.
Your words, actions and ability to remain consistent are all important tools to reassure your children of your unchanging love. You may wonder what to say, how to say it, and what your child needs. These are all important questions.
What a child wants and needs during a divorce
- For both parents to stay involved in their life to make them feel important and loved
- For both parents to work hard at getting along so the child doesn’t feel like they did something wrong
- Support from both parents without jealousy or being caught in the middle
- Positive reinforcement from each parent about one another
What parents should say, and how they should say it
- Tell the truth
- Tell them you love them
- Talk openly about the changes going on in the family
- Answer their questions honestly
- Avoid blame
- Give age-appropriate explanations
- Share important details like new living arrangements
It is normal for children to feel a range of difficult emotions but time, love and reassurance can help in healing. If things get worse rather than better it may be a sign that your child requires additional support. Here are some red flags to watch for:
- Sleep problems
- Trouble in school
- Poor concentration
- Self-injury, cutting, or eating disorders
- Frequent angry or violent outbursts
- Withdrawal from loved ones
- Drug and/or alcohol abuse
By providing stability, structure and the comfort of routines, children know what to expect, which can aid in the transition. If you are struggling, there are qualified professionals who can help you, your child and the rest of your family find solutions. At Family TLC we believe that successful parenting requires both love and knowledge.
My Spouse is Having a Midlife Crisis: How Will This Affect My Marriage?
A midlife crisis is part of a continuing developmental process of maturation and adaptation that characterizes aging, and it affects a large portion of the population in western society.
According to clinical professor of psychiatry Calvin Colarusso, someone having a true midlife crisis usually wants to change their life in a hurry. If this is your spouse, what does that mean for your marriage?
That depends on a few factors:
What is he/she looking to change? – There are certain things that are common for an individual to want to change during a midlife crisis:
- Job
- Appearance
- Health
- Vehicle
- Home
- Spouse
Debunking the Stigmas About Counselling
There is an unfortunate stigma that can surround counselling. Those who seek help are seen as weak or out of control. Even though few people would hesitate to go to the doctor or emergency room for a physical ailment, there can still be prejudice against those who are getting help for their minds.
Thankfully, with increasing media attention being drawn towards mental health, the power of these stigmas have begun to fade. Here are some common myths we can debunk about counselling:
Does Your Child Really Have ADHD?
ADHD is one of the most common childhood brain disorders that can continue through adolescence and into adulthood. Some people may assume that if their child is hyper or lacks focus when completing a task, then they must have ADHD. This is not always the case. There are some specific ways to tell if a diagnosis of ADHD may be appropriate.
Here are some typical symptoms of ADHD:
- Your child is in constant motion
- They squirm or fidget
- They do not seem to listen
- Have trouble playing quietly
- Often talk excessively
- Interrupt others
- Are easily distracted
- Do not complete tasks
Is Your Child Struggling With Academic Pressures?
Our world is full of competition and pressure to achieve. This is also true when it comes to school, where your child may feel their worth is measured by their performance. How can you tell that your child is suffering because of academic pressure?
- Drop in grades
- Lying about homework
- Destroying or losing report cards
- Irritable
- Withdrawing
It is important to notice these behaviours early and put the proper supports in place.
First Day Jitters or Separation Anxiety Disorder?
It is normal for your child to have some anxiety before their first day of school or even afterwards. It takes time to adjust to the idea of being away from home and loved ones. This is especially true for those who are entering kindergarten or high school or are changing schools.
However, when do these jitters turn into a problem? How do you know if this goes beyond typical anxiety about change?
Here are some signs and symptoms that will help you know when to seek help:
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