Family Counselling Articles - Page 2 of 8

How to Negotiate During your Separation

July 29, 2016 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC

Negotiating during your separation and divorce can be a very difficult time. When you have to communicate with your ex-partner and discuss complex issues, it may trigger emotions and bring up past memories that you would much rather move on from.

There are ways to prepare that can help to alleviate some of these difficult emotions and can keep the negotiation process on track. By preparing, you will help to ensure that your negotiations remain on the right path, that your voice is heard, that your wishes are clear, and that your emotions do not get in the way of the process.

[Read more…]

Emotional Regulation in Children

June 17, 2016 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC child

Emotional regulation is the ability to react in an appropriate manner to a situation. Some kids can find this challenging for varying reasons.

Young children typically have the most difficulty expressing their emotions or being able to regulate their emotions appropriately. They may show signs of depression, cry excessively, have difficulty coping, be anxious, aggressive, withdraw, become angry easily, and/or may demonstrate oppositional behaviours.

When children are young it is important that they learn to use the correct words to express the emotion that they are feeling (e.g., angry, scared, happy, sad). [Read more…]

Separation: How to Talk to Your Ex

June 6, 2016 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC Parenting

Talking to an ex can be incredibly difficult, especially if emotions are still unresolved, children are involved, there is still anger, resentment and sadness about the demise of the relationship, or several of these things are present. Every situation is unique.

Many people try to avoid talking to their ex at all costs, only communicating through email, texts or a neutral third party.

[Read more…]

Children Coping with Divorce

December 29, 2015 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC child

Some children go through divorce with relatively few problems while others have a very difficult time. For children divorce can be stressful, sad and confusing.

Your words, actions and ability to remain consistent are all important tools to reassure your children of your unchanging love. You may wonder what to say, how to say it, and what your child needs. These are all important questions.

What a child wants and needs during a divorce

For both parents to stay involved in their life to make them feel important and loved
For both parents to work hard at getting along so the child doesn’t feel like they did something wrong
Support from both parents without jealousy or being caught in the middle
Positive reinforcement from each parent about one another

What parents should say, and how they should say it

Tell the truth
Tell them you love them
Talk openly about the changes going on in the family
Answer their questions honestly
Avoid blame
Give age-appropriate explanations
Share important details like new living arrangements

It is normal for children to feel a range of difficult emotions but time, love and reassurance can help in healing. If things get worse rather than better it may be a sign that your child requires additional support. Here are some red flags to watch for:

Sleep problems
Trouble in school
Poor concentration
Self-injury, cutting, or eating disorders
Frequent angry or violent outbursts
Withdrawal from loved ones
Drug and/or alcohol abuse

By providing stability, structure and the comfort of routines, children know what to expect, which can aid in the transition. If you are struggling, there are qualified professionals who can help you, your child and the rest of your family find solutions. At Family TLC we believe that successful parenting requires both love and knowledge.

My Spouse is Having a Midlife Crisis: How Will This Affect My Marriage?

November 9, 2015 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC

A midlife crisis is part of a continuing developmental process of maturation and adaptation that characterizes aging, and it affects a large portion of the population in western society.

According to clinical professor of psychiatry Calvin Colarusso, someone having a true midlife crisis usually wants to change their life in a hurry. If this is your spouse, what does that mean for your marriage?

That depends on a few factors:

What is he/she looking to change? – There are certain things that are common for an individual to want to change during a midlife crisis:

Job
Appearance
Health
Vehicle
Home
Spouse

[Read more…]

Debunking the Stigmas About Counselling

October 14, 2015 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC

There is an unfortunate stigma that can surround counselling. Those who seek help are seen as weak or out of control. Even though few people would hesitate to go to the doctor or emergency room for a physical ailment, there can still be prejudice against those who are getting help for their minds.

Thankfully, with increasing media attention being drawn towards mental health, the power of these stigmas have begun to fade. Here are some common myths we can debunk about counselling:

[Read more…]

Does Your Child Really Have ADHD?

October 14, 2015 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC ADD-ADHD

ADHD is one of the most common childhood brain disorders that can continue through adolescence and into adulthood. Some people may assume that if their child is hyper or lacks focus when completing a task, then they must have ADHD. This is not always the case. There are some specific ways to tell if a diagnosis of ADHD may be appropriate.

Here are some typical symptoms of ADHD:

Your child is in constant motion
They squirm or fidget
They do not seem to listen
Have trouble playing quietly
Often talk excessively
Interrupt others
Are easily distracted
Do not complete tasks

[Read more…]

Is Your Child Struggling With Academic Pressures?

September 11, 2015 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC school

Our world is full of competition and pressure to achieve. This is also true when it comes to school, where your child may feel their worth is measured by their performance. How can you tell that your child is suffering because of academic pressure?

Drop in grades
Lying about homework
Destroying or losing report cards
Irritable
Withdrawing

It is important to notice these behaviours early and put the proper supports in place.

[Read more…]

First Day Jitters or Separation Anxiety Disorder?

September 11, 2015 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC child school

It is normal for your child to have some anxiety before their first day of school or even afterwards. It takes time to adjust to the idea of being away from home and loved ones. This is especially true for those who are entering kindergarten or high school or are changing schools.

However, when do these jitters turn into a problem? How do you know if this goes beyond typical anxiety about change?

Here are some signs and symptoms that will help you know when to seek help:

[Read more…]

Stress Management: How to Regain a Sense of Calm

August 19, 2015 By Sue Cook, RSW, CCC, MEd Counselling, BAFN, CYC child Stress

We all respond to and manage our stress differently. In today’s society, there is no way to have a stress-free life; there is no secret cure to stress. However, there are ways we can manage our stress and learn to control our reactions to stressful situations.

Stress comes in many different forms. There are the daily stressors like bills, children, schedules, work issues and so on. Then there are stressful major life events such as the death of a loved one, losing a job, moving, and having a child. While these stressors vary in intensity, they can often be managed in similar ways.

Often people will resort to unhealthy coping techniques, such as drinking, doing drugs, binge eating, not eating enough, sleeping too much, or taking their stress out on others. While these techniques may provide temporary relief from the stress, it does not allow you to move forward and manage the stress.

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