One or both of you has a child or children from a previous relationship, and now you are blending everyone together under one roof. Bringing together two parents and their own children can be hard. Just because it is called blending does not mean it is easy.
For your children, change can be stressful and this is just another change that they feel forced to accept and live with. They can feel caught in a loyalty bind as they try to navigate the relationship with the new parent, while also maintaining the relationship with the biological parent. If your kids went through a break down in trust during the separation, it may be hard for them to connect with step- siblings and a step-parent, as it is difficult to allow oneself to be vulnerable after having been hurt. Even as they enter a new family, your kids may well still be grieving the end of their biological family.
For the adults, your parenting and discipline styles are probably different and might even cause conflict. Everyone in the family has to develop new relationships, which can often be an awkward and foreign experience. If one of you has never had children before, learning to parent someone else’s children is not simple. The children’s other parents may be an added stress that further complicates the coming together of the family in your home.
At Family TLC, we have done family therapy with many families just like yours. This includes full family, individual, or partial family sessions. The goal is to help everyone heal from past wounds, while also building positive relationships. Everyone learns how to voice their feelings in a safe and secure environment; one which fosters healthy intimacy. Each family member can learn to understand their role and how to build strong bonds with the family.
Remember the rate of divorce in second marriages with children from previous relationships is higher than first marriage divorces. Contact Family TLC and set up family therapy to help prevent another separation, and to blend this new family so everyone is happy.
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