Sue Cook has helped many couples through separation and divorce.  Below are some important things to remember.

DO’S

• Always think “What is in my child’s best interest?”
• Go out of your way to ensure that your ex is included in your child’s life
• Stop fighting especially if the child can hear
• Be flexible
• Reassure your child that they are loved, divorce is not their fault and neither  one of you will abandon them

• Remember your child will worry about themselves and each parent.
• Openly talk about their worries and reassure them
• Give the child permission to express their feelings freely. Model sharing appropriate feelings
• Take care of yourself so your child can be a child not a caregiver of you
• Follow through on commitments and promises
• First Discuss any proposed schedule changes directly with the other parent
• Respect the other parent’s scheduled time with children and do not schedule   plans that will conflict
• Be willing to support and encourage extended family relationships
• Create a calendar for the children so they always know their schedule

• Never belittle or criticise former spouse in front of the child.
• Do not use your child as a messenger
• Do not let your child act as your caretaker
• Never share intimate details of spouses wrong doings
• Do not hold back or stop paying child support
• Never immediately introduce the child to your new love
• Do not move the child as far away from other parent as possible
• Never have your child ask your ex-spouse for money
• Don’t listen in on your child’s conversations with the other parent
• Do not say anything that transfers the blame to the child

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