Apart But Still Parents

What is the greatest gift you can give your child?

Being your healthy self. Why? If you are healthy you can . . . .

1. Focus on developing solutions instead of wasting your time on problems.
2. Give your children stability and consistency rather than taking them on an emotional roller coaster.
3. Respond to situations and de-escalate them instead of over-reacting and making things bigger.
4. Manage conflict between households instead of increasing the conflict your children are exposed to.
5. Help your children adjust rather than witness your children having difficulty adjusting.

 

Being your healthy self. How?

 

1. Watch for negative thinking and change it. Instead of “Oh no what now” think “We can work this out”.
2. Ask yourself what do I need and how will I make sure that need is met.
3. Be gentle and kind to yourself.  Everything you are feeling is normal. It is even normal to feel two things at once or to have your feelings fluctuate.  Find healthy ways to release your uncomfortable feelings.
4. Find Support, it is okay and important to ask for help.
5. Every day it is important to find enjoyment even if it is only for a minute. This will help build your confidence and self-worth.
6. Divorce is overwhelming and changes everything. Focus on the small immediate things first and gradually allow yourself to look at coping over the long term.
7. Focus on the positive. What is working? What are you grateful for? What is great about you?
8. Take action. Make a plan with a date and time, stay accountable and review your progress.